I could have never imagined what a difficult journey this would be. I always thought that there must be someway to make a living online. I have so much spam mail!  I wound up taking out another pay day loan. They should be illegal, but what else can you do?  I have been searching some sites and have some that are really helpful. I want to share them with you all. This is a learn as you go experience. I encourage all of you to join me. If you have other resources, please share them. We need to stick together.


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Recharged4Love

For years I raised my children as a single mom without any major life issues. It wasn’t easy, but I counted my blessings and had a wonderful family who loved and supported us. I went back to school, got an excellent job, and lived life perfectly fine without a significant other. It wasn’t until my kids reached their early teens, that I started getting asked the infamous question. “When are you going to start dating again?” I remember the first time someone popped the question. I was at work, enjoying a nice lunch on the grass outside the office. A beautiful summer day, the wind blowing gently, birds chirping in the background. Well, it may have cars honking and brakes squealing, but it was all the same to me. I was perfectly and innocently enjoying my bliss. When out of the blue, a co-worker, who had recently got engaged asked me the dreaded question. I panicked. Desperately I thought of what to say, as I had never really given it much thought. I was perfectly content living my single life. But, I didn’t want to sound like a prude. We have all heard the stories about the old woman who lived down the road with her 150 cats. You know, the one who died and nobody found her body for seven days? I absolutely did not want to be viewed as a cat-lady-in-waiting.  My eyes dropped down to my phone as I pretended to scan for messages, I cleared my throat, and responded. “I am letting my batteries charge first. “ I proclaimed. Eyebrows squinted, heads tilted, so I continued. “You see, the kids are a constant drain on my energy supply. Don’t worry, my phone’s still plugged in (throwing in a wink). It just takes double time for my battery to charge.” With nods from around the group, somebody started an unrelated conversation. I was safe. From that day on, anytime someone asked me about dating, I would repeat the same message. It worked for three years before my youngest daughter (now a teen) finally asked me if my battery was fully charged yet.” Being the outstanding mother I am, I didn’t want to set a bad example. After all, intimacy is a good thing. Right? Right?

It’s funny how something like dating doesn’t seem to bother you, until it starts to bother you. I know that sounds odd. But, as soon as I started giving it some thought, the whole idea consumed me. The reality of it seemed so foreign. The last time I had been on a date, I was 22 and damn good looking. I wore size 7 jeans, carried a nice D size cup that stayed up on its own (for the most part), and had beautiful naturally blond hair that shimmered in the sun. Or at least that’s how I remembered it. Now, there I stood staring at myself in the mirror. Somewhere along the way, someone had replaced my twenty-two year old athletically equipped body with that of a 42 year old sumo wrestler. I had literally doubled in size, from a 7 to a 14. My breasts, still large, hung dangerously close to my belly button, and my natural blond hair was hiding behind a wiry white outer layer. I had never really considered my appearance before then. And, as I stood there desperately thinking of a quick fix. Extreme makeover, plastic surgery, auto wrecking? I realized the inevitable. If I wanted to change my appearance, I was going to have to work for it.

I started thinking that other people must be in the very same situation. After all, forty percent of women in America who marry today are destined for divorce. Surely, not all of them still packed abs of steel. So, I began paying more attention to my surroundings. There were not as many fat women as I would have liked, but heck, there also weren’t all that many good looking men either. That was when I made up my mind to buy some shoes, new lipstick, and put my profile on a dating site.

Recharged and Ready

There are a lot of differences between dating as a younger person and dating as an older person. First, the selection to choose from is outrageous. When I first started looking for potential prospects, I was impressed by the amount of nice looking men online. That is, until I began filtering out the ones willing to date a women over forty! The age range increased by about twenty years. Where does it say in the rule book that it is okay for 45 year old men to only pick from women between eighteen and twenty-five years old? I was left with a handful of balding, beer-bellied, red nosed engineers who enjoyed holding hands and walking slowly and carefully on the beach. But, being an optimist, I carried on and began my search for that first date.

Comeback Queen Crushed

After a few days of deleting the obvious stalkers, perverts, and alley cats, I found a potential match. We started communicating via email. He was a very nice engineer who lived about thirty minutes from me. Why are they all engineers? After a few conversations, we decided to meet up for dinner at a place halfway. As soon as I said yes, panic mode kicked in. Did I forget to tell him I was a sumo? My teeth are coffee stained. Should I dye my hair? What if I hate him (irrational thought since I didn’t hardly know him). What was I thinking, agreeing to meet someone I didn’t really know. What kind of example is that? Here I am trying to model health social interaction with the opposite sex and what I am really saying is, “Yes, I will agree to meet you alone, stranger. Here’s my number, you might be killer, call me some time.” That just makes me appear desperate. Wait, am I desperate? Let’s just say my ADD kicked into overdrive and I spent the rest of the week freaking out over an awful dinner that took only 45 minutes, some very boring conversation, and some really bad breath! I left the restaurant vowing never to agree to another online date. Until I got home, and had a message from Mr. HunkaHunka-Burning Love. How could I pass that up?

Please let me know if you would like to hear more about my Recharged4Love adventures. I would love to hear your feedback and stories, if you aren’t in the 60% happy ever after cliche. Oh hell, just kidding. I would love feedback from anyone who suffered through my rant. I definitely have more to share. Hope you enjoyed. 

I'm writing lenses on Squidoo and would love you to join me

I'm writing lenses on Squidoo and would love you to join me

Professional Single Parents Struggling with Priorities: And so my journey begins...

Professional Single Parents Struggling with Priorities: And so my journey begins...: I want to begin by introducing myself and sharing some background information with you. I hope this will give you a better understandin...

This is really cool!

Hi I want to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Kim. I am a single mom of three teenagers. A while back, I experienced a family crisis that opened my eyes for the first time in several years. Like most single moms I have worked hard to advance my career in order to keep up with the demands of a two-income society. I was so focused on being the bread winner of the family that I totally missed the most important thing of all- being a good parent!  I was watching my kids struggle and fall behind. My 14 year old daughter wound up getting into trouble with the law and that was the final factor.  I walked away from my $74,000 annual salary and took a leap of faith with only my higher power as a parachute. I looked for help, and then crisis help, and desperately attempted every "get rich quick" online possibility out there.  This is what I have discovered. Please read the following criteria. Are you really low income (and not based on your current situation)? Do you have really good credit? Have you saved a lot of money or know someone who can really help you out? If you answered no, to these welcome to my world! There is no immediate, hidden, or personal grant that will help. Believe me. I have crashed my computer twice looking for these. That was when I decided I was going to have to find my own success. With my years of school and work experience I have a lot to offer. So do you! I had no idea how to offer my knowledge, let alone earn money online from it. Only through the grace of my higher power (and getting sick of Paul sending me emails) did I find the Wealthy Affiliate University. It provides you free step-by-step education on using your knowledge to open up your online potential. This is not a scam. This is free education, and not just a teaser. You don't have to pay a dime to become a student and access their trainings. This is not a get rich quick plan. It is a stepping stone. If you need or even want to combine work and home in order to successful grow your family, please check this out. I promise you that it is worth your time!

Check it out Here

 http://www.wealthyaffiliate.com?a_aid=c400e3d0

And so my journey begins...

I want to begin by introducing myself and sharing some background information with you. I hope this will give you a better understanding of what changed my entire view on life.

 

My name is Kim. I am a professional single mom of three teenagers. My oldest just turned 18. He was blessed with Asperger's Syndrome. For those of you who haven't heard of  it, this is an autism spectrum disorder. It affects the social component of life. They are often viewed as eccentric by society. Many famous people have Asperger's because of their ability to excel beyond normal capacity in specific topics or subject matter. My son is a born writer. He comes up with brilliant stories and ideas that blow me out of the water. The problem is that being so brilliant tends to weaken his strengths in other areas. For example, he still can't tie his shoes and he is completely reliant one me for all activities of daily living. Sharing this challenge will be important as I begin my discussion on issues mangy single moms face. I also have a 16 year old son who is as wonderfully stubborn and determined as his mother is. I suspect I have shared my ADHD with him. We are quite the combo.My daughter is my youngest. She is fourteen. She has always lived in a single parent home. She is beautiful, bright, and very caring. She is also a rebelling in a serious way. I have watched her behavior, self confidence, and self success go down the drain rapidly. She recently got into trouble with the law. This was the event that triggered my entire life path and opened my eyes.

 Over the years, I have done what I think most single moms do: I worked hard at getting a better education and advancing my career. For over fifteen years I have worked in public health, mostly HIV/STD services. I have a wealth of knowledge on this topic. I worked my way up the chain and became the clinic supervisor. I thought I was doing the right thing. Sure I was tired and didn't get to spend as much time with my kids as I wanted. To make up for my lost time, I overcompensated. I made sure they always had money in their pockets. I rarely said no. I did all of the housework and maintenance myself because it was quicker and easier that way. I asked them about school and told them to do their homework. I always told them how much I loved them. What I didn't do was show them. I gave them money but didn't show them how to save it, I made their dinners and washed their clothes, because it was easier then trying to get them to help. I may have encouraged homework but I didn't go through backpacks or help them become better learners. I talked a lot when I should have been listening and observing. 

I spent several years living this life and always felt something was off-kilter. To be honest, I don't think I ever really took the time to find out what is was. I just kept on spinning my wheels getting no where. The more I made, the more I spent. The more I achieved at work, the harder home life became. I was in the middle of a never ending game of tug-a-war. Balance is hard. It wasn't until my daughter got into serious trouble that I knew I had to stop everything and come to a complete halt. I went on FMLA leave from work, sat down, and prayed. I have never been a religious person, but I have always believed in a higher power. I opened myself up, asked for guidance, and promised myself to really listen for the first time in years. I cannot explain to you the immediate release I felt when I turned to faith and quit living in fear. I began to understand that success for me was all about " growing" my family. I also began to understand that in order to "grow" I had to be willing to devote myself to them 100%. I realized that I had to give it all up to gain it all back. We are all different and I know my strengths and struggles. In order to succeed I had to take a leap of faith into the unknown with only my higher power as a parachute. 

So, I gave up my  $74,000 annual salary  to devote myself to "growing my family".  No-answers didn't  started coming to me and money definitely did not began turning up in the mail. I didn't receive any specific answers. I am still waiting. for that! My children are pretty sure I am having a mid-life crisis. Maybe I am. I just keep reassuring them it will all come together and until it does to please not answer the phone unless you are 100% sure you know the number! . I once heard this saying," If you always do what you have always done, You will always get what you have always got." I am sorry I cannot remember the name of the women speaker, but her quote has stuck with me.
 

Today there are a lot of unknowns. Money? Rent? Food?  I know faith doesn't fill an empty plate. I will have to make decisions and we will all need to adjust. It will be a long and bumpy road, but I am finally able to get out of neutral and kick it in gear..So begins my journey. It would mean a lot to me if you all decided to ride along. I can't say for sure where we are going, but I know it is in right direction!